A Spiritual Odyssey

When I was a young man beginning to study The Bible, the story of The Annunciation always left me cold and mystified. I was very doubtful about the existence of angels, and the idea that one might ‘appear’ to Mary to announce her forthcoming pregnancy sounded ridiculous. The story made no sense.  But all that changed when I saw a print of Fra Angelico’s painting of it

We see an angel bowing before a seated figure in an otherwise empty enclosed space.

It was the silence and stillness of his image that spoke to me. I could understand that anyone, in this case a young woman, might suddenly and inexplicably know something, be changed by the experience and realise that her understanding came somehow from outside her, and thence from God. Indeed I’d had an experience or two like that myself.

I re-read the story, and it now began to make sense, as it tells how Mary is deeply troubled by the experience, frightened even, doubts and questions, before finally graciously accepting it. Yes, I can recognise that pattern too, and suspect that for Mary, that was a sequence she probably went through many times over: fear, doubt, questioning, before quiet acceptance.

The story as Luke tells it, in 1:36-38, is made up almost entirely of the dialogue between Mary and the angel, which presents an artist with a problem as he/she has no visual clues to go on. A painting relies almost entirely on their imagination. That in itself is intriguing, that a Biblical text only came alive for me through the imaginative skill of an artist, the text by itself being insufficient.

The story now, from being one of no significance for me, became one of overwhelming significance.

   Partly because it made me aware that God often speaks to me, and presumably to others, through art as through words, or indeed anything else, using our imaginations. There is seemingly, nothing through which God cannot speak.

     Partly because the word ‘angel’ simply means ‘messenger’, and thus can be used to describe any person or thing through which God speaks.

Partly because it encourages me to take my experience of God speaking to me seriously as Mary did. That is a risky business of course for some people have done terrible things on the basis of thinking themselves to have been spoken to by God, on the other hand it’s also risky not to heed my experience. I need to have some means of discerning what really is of God and what is not.

     And partly because Mary has now, not surprisingly, become a much more important person for me. I discovered that some writers talk of her as ‘the first’ of Jesus’ disciples, because she was the first person to put her trust/faith in Him and I am happy to go with that.

Some years ago I had a sabbatical and, in the months before I drafted a list of things but I might do on it, but as it drew near all of those things had either fallen off the list or ceased to engage me. One day I was wondering around the National Gallery in London when I saw a painting by Bernardo Daddi entitled ‘The Coronation of the Virgin’, it took me by surprise and spoke to me.

We see Mary kneeling before Jesus Who is placing a crown on her head

If Mary is the first disciple of Jesus then what happens to her is what happens to all other of his disciples. If she is enthroned will we not be also when we return to the God from whom we came at our births?  ‘The Coronation of the Virgin’ is important as it expresses a hope for all.

Over the years I have come to think of Mary not only as the first disciple of Jesus, but also as the feminine face of God. There have been times in my life when it has felt easier and more appropriate to pray to a feminine face of God rather than a masculine one and to assume that the God who prays for me and holds me in love has a feminine as well as a masculine face.

On the sabbatical, I mentioned earlier, my wife and I spent some time in Assisi in Italy and one day made a trip to San Sepulchro to see Piero della Francesco’s painting of Jesus‘s Resurrection. I also saw a print of Piero’s painting ‘The Madonna of Mercy’ which is part of a large altarpiece.

We see a huge figure of Mary wearing a cloak that protects a group of men and women kneeling before her.

The central figure of Mary stands with her cloak open protecting a group of men and women who were part of a fraternity who cared for those in need in their town. There would’ve been several such fraternities in the town exercising what we would think of social services. The image suggests that Mary cares for these men and women as they exercise care for those in need in their community. I found it a strange but very moving image and now often look at it and learn from it.

Thus has my understanding and appreciation of Mary been transformed in the course of my life. And there has been more. On that same sabbatical, on our return from Assisi, one night I had a dream and in it an older female figure whom I took to be my ‘anima’ spoke wise words to me that I heeded and continue to heed. From time to time, I continue to sense the presence of my ‘anima’ and hear her loving and wise words. I assume that she and Mary are one and the same., or perhaps different aspects of the feminine face of God.

A painting that sums this is up for me is ‘The Mystical Boat’ by Odilon Redon, about which Sister Wendy Beckett has written.

“At first we hardly see the sailor, still less that there is a companion. Both are lost, hidden, secret within the boat’s blueness, the colour of heaven. The two -because the mystic heart is never alone, an angelic Presence, the hidden God, is always there – do not steer the boat, do not even try to direct it. They sit surrendered, allowing the Spirit to take them where He chooses. The sea …….heaves and is turbulent, but the tossing of the boat is part of the mystic journey. It is the outward stress that makes the surrender of trust vital. The sail alone catches the full brightness of God, and it is that brightness, overhead, not tangible, that dominates the picture. But the brightness blinds the sailor, who cannot see where the Spirit is taking them, and he leans back, at rest, content in His spiritual choice.” 

Quite a spiritual journey from my youthful scepticism, and art, and God speaking to me through art, has played a vital and creative role for which I give thanks.

First posted in http://contemporaryspirituality.blog